Velvet Elvis Return Policy
Karen: Welcome to Smart Furniture! How may I help you?
Mike: Hi Karen,
Mike: I tried to send this question over your contact us link...but I'm not sure it ever went through: I'm really interested in purchasing a new office chair for my home office, but am having trouble locating some of the nicer chairs in local stores. Other online retailers do not have return policies that accommodate actually returning anything (unless it's broken), so finding your site was a welcome change of pace. So, I'm just trying to do a quick reality check. With your "no hassle" policy, can I order a chair, set it up and try sitting on it, and if I am unhappy, return the chair within 30 days for a full refund? And-- will you really cover the return shipping charge in this case?
Karen: Well, I am glad you found us!
Karen: We do have a hassle-free return policy in that if you order a chair and it doesn't suit your needs, it can be returned within the first 30 days of receipt and we will pay for return shipping.
Mike: And it would be acceptable that the box that the chair came in was opened and any necessary assembly was done to test it out?
Mike: I'm just trying to figure out the part of this that's too good to be true =).
Karen: There are some exclusions such as if you order a chair in red velvet upholstery with a picture of Elvis on it, it would not be able to be returned, so unless you order a chair with an extreme decorative edge to it. :)
Mike: I read over your about us page... and I'm not trying to be a "party pooper."
Mike: I like that example.
Karen: Ha ha. The chair needs to be in new condition and you would need to keep all the packing materials and box so it could be shipped back.
Mike: OK... so basically, let's say I order the Steelcase Amia chair. I have not been able to find this in stores, so I want to try it. I open the box, set it up, sit in it for an evening and find that it's just not for me. I can disassemble it, pack it back up, contact you for a shipping label, and ship it back to you for a full refund?
Karen: You are absolutely correct. Please note howeverL If you do have to return the chair, then we get to take a picture of you, paste it to a dartboard and throw darts at you in effigy.
Mike: haha, what if I buy a different chair from you?
Mike: will you take the picture down from the dartboard?
Karen: We will then frame your picture and put spotlights on it.
Mike: Will you distribute it to new employees to place on their desks?
Mike: Or better yet, make photo mugs from it, labeled: World's Best Customer ?
Karen: Yes, and actually put it on everyone's computer as the company's new wallpaper.
Mike: I feel like this is really a win-win sort of arrangement.
Karen: It is! You can't go wrong with us.
Mike: I like this, you're really selling me here.
Karen: Glad you like us.
Karen: May I have your name please?
Mike: If all goes well, I'll need to get a picture of you in a non-creepy way to put on my desk at home, just so I always know who made this chair possible.
Karen: Ha! We will be sure to send you a staff photo.
Karen: We're all a team here.
Mike: sure, my name is Mike... and I plan on doing just a little bit more research this weekend and hopefully pulling the trigger.
Mike: OK, that works, and is less stalker-ish
Mike: though, you are the one who brought up the dartboard effigy
Karen: True, true. But we have to have some fun around here.
Mike: and it seems like you do, that's awesome.
Karen: Mike, my name is Karen Jennings and if you have any more questions, you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Mike: thank you, Karen! My email address is... and if you have any special coupons or promotions, you can feel most certainly welcome to email me there! =)
Karen: Thank you Mike. I will do that and be sure to share my favorite velvet Elvis image with you.
Mike: I hope Steelcase takes custom orders.
Mike: (from you)
Mike: (to me)
Mike: just to end the conversation on a confusing note.
Mike: thanks for your help, Karen!
Mike: have a great weekend =)
Karen: It was a pleasure Mike. You do the same.